Megan Fox & the #MeToo Movement

The #metoo movement and female empowerment are many things. The #metoo movement opened Pandora’s box and suddenly, a lot of issues women were facing got highlighted. The issue that struck out the most for me is women bashing by other women.

As women, we should all be about celebrating women as a woman and not bashing or excluding another woman due to jealousy or whatever reason there may be. As fellow women, we are sisters.

There are many issues the #metoo movement has brought about – positive and negative. I don’t always agree with some of the modern feminist ideas but there are many positive aspects that has enforced change in how we react as women to bullying and sexual harassment. Not only to women but also to men as well on how they should react to a woman being bullied or sexually harassed/ exploited.

Within women, the idea of the #metoo movement has brought about great change and courage. That is what I would like to focus on when I think about the movement. Women are not who they used to be ten years ago because of the #metoo movement.

I watched an interview on Megan Fox and Diablo Cody which got me thinking deeply about how some women are brought down by others because of how beautiful and intelligent they are. It almost seems as if you can’t be both.

Megan Fox was a product of a predominantly male industry which shaped her image to be one of sexuality. Sex sells. What can I say to that?

She seemed to have fallen off the radar after what she said about Michael Bay overworking the actors in the film Transformers and compared him to dictators.

The backlash brought about the downfall of Megan Fox’s popularity and possibly the opportunity for major roles as compared to what she has been starring in for the last ten years.

In the interview, she said that she didn’t feel like there was a space in feminism for her. I imagine that when she spoke out against what was happening to her on set and how Michael Bay cast her when she was just 15 years old in a sexually enticing scene (in another movie), everyone, including women, called her ungrateful. Especially since he made her famous in Transformers.

If she had spoken out now instead of back then, she wouldn’t have faced such a backlash. She was way beyond her time.

As human beings, we need to look into things deeper. We shouldn’t judge a book just by its cover.

It is so tremendously shallow to think that a woman is the way she is by how she looks and this, not only coming from men but also from women. Women against women.

Why do women bring down other women?

It was so incredibly shattering when she said that she never felt like she belonged in that group who call themselves feminists even though she considered herself a feminist.

As a woman, when you hear another woman say something like that, it draws your attention to the glaring flaws of being human and the hypocrisy of some women who call themselves feminists.

Megan Fox is a great actress. Unfortunately, she was stereotyped and not given enough opportunities as an actress to show what she is really made of. I can only hope that things will change for her soon.

In interviews, you can clearly see she is more than just a pretty face. There is substance and a great personality which makes up who she is as a human being. Her looks and her body shouldn’t define her. It is just 1/3 of the equation. A human being is complex and everyone knows that. So why are there still people bashing her and other women like her?

We are all individuals who come with our own deep seated issues and my only answer to that is the possibly inferiority complex women who bash others have. That is why we need to speak up and bring awareness to this issue.

It is only by talking a storm out of a problem that allows it to gain attention and reflection.

As women or as human beings, we need to realise that our words have the power to break someone else. That someone could be a daughter, a sister or even a mother. Don’t ruin someone else just because you think you are right.

More on the interview by ET Live that inspired this article here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2JLRtWlq0o

The Meaning of Life

I haven’t thought about this question in a long time. It used to be on my mind a lot when I entered my late teens up to my mid twenties.

This question used to make me restless and depressed because I couldn’t find the answer. Everyone’s answer is different but once you find your answer, everything will make sense.

That period in my life as I searched for my answer, is the darkest. I felt that my life had no meaning the way I was living it.

I felt I had to do something worthwhile to make my life meaningful. But what I’ve learned through my journey is that mindset is very important.

As I struggled to navigate through life when I was younger, nothing could lift me up. I was more often depressed and cynical. I partied a lot, drank a lot, dabbled in things that could have destroyed me mentally and physically. I was in the company of people whose actions ultimately sunk me into deeper depression.

Of course, at that point of time, I didn’t realize that I allowed them to do that to me. Their negativity and brokenness drew me in but I should have made the choice to leave before I got in too deep. I chose to stay and in turn, a part of me died. But death is a good thing because it paves the way to resurrection.

In the depths of my despair, I badly needed to find my saving grace. There was no hope and I needed it.

So I searched for it through the only two ways I knew how – God and books.

My relationship with God peaked when I needed Him the most. Jesus gave me hope and He shone a path through the darkness by blessing me with knowledge.

I read countless books to search for the meaning of my life.

The Law of Attraction, The Power of Now… hardly Christian books. Some hardcore Christians will even call them unorthodox. But He is a wise God and He leads us not through our understanding. We do not need to understand but to follow.

I learned that positivity begets positivity, meaning that we are what we attract. Our thoughts have the power to attract the things we want and if we subject ourselves to gloom and doom, that is what we will get.

I learned to live as if today is my last. I think I still struggle to do this because some fears are overwhelming and not easy to get over but now, I try.

So I ask myself every time I want to do something but can’t, what if today is your last day to live? What would you do?

There is no point in dwelling in the past because you can’t travel back to change things. There is no point to think about the future either because it has not arrived. So why bother worrying about something that has not come to pass?

As my thought process changed, so did my mental well-being and the direction of my life.

Slowly but surely, I found the meaning of my life.

I didn’t have to find something worthy to do, I didn’t have to prove myself to anyone, I didn’t have to be majorly successful in my career or to be rich.

The meaning of my life is to experience. To journey through what it means to be human. To live. To love. To be kind. To be the best that I can be.

I found peace in my soul and understood the meaning of Content when I realised the meaning of my life. What a beautiful journey.

Life is not always a bed of roses for me but because I allowed my mindset to evolve to positivity, I know that I can overcome any hurdle Life throws at me. I know I have Him always by my side.

For when I am weak then I am strong.

I’m sure with the situation the world is in right now because of the Covid-19 pandemic, many would be troubled with this question.

As we stay holed up at home, unable to live our lives, our thoughts wander to the meaning of our existence.

What’s the point of living?

We need to accept that life is full of ups and downs. We need to take the bull by it’s horns. We need to realise there are many seasons and this too shall pass.

We live our lives and we die. Yes I am Christian and therefore I don’t believe death is the end but your life on this Earth now is beautiful through its experiences.

Do things you would never do. For me, it was getting married and having a baby. I was never much into children until I gave birth and met my son for the first time.

Get yourself out of that rut, buckle down and don’t give up. If you have to try a million times, do it until you succeed.

You see, if you start to notice the beauty in things, your answer will come too. If you focus on the journey instead of the end result, the answer will find you. You won’t have to search for it.

In Times of Uncertainty

…….comes great reflection.

Covid-19 caught the World by surprise and knocked all of us off our feet. We landed on the ground with an oophhfff….and as we stay on the ground trying to catch our breaths, we start thinking.

What got us here? Why and how could something like that happen? How do we get out of this and improve on ourselves as we do so? Will we survive and triumph?

In the span of a few months, stock markets crashed, businesses failed and people became unemployed.

Also, in a few months, Earth started healing – skies became clearer, the air fresher and wild animals are thriving.

There is so much to think about.

Have we achieved our goals as individuals? What really matters in life for each of us?

Is it worldly possessions like bags, shoes and clothes? Wealth?

Or is it immaterial elements? Your spiritual well being?

Maybe it is people? The people around you like family or friends?

I haven’t had the inclination to think this much since my twenties. Back then, I was more of a sensitive, spiritual soul. I felt deeply and I also thought deeply.

Now in my thirties, I am more down to earth. Happier than I could ever have been in my twenties.

I feel that my happiness now derives from my current ability not to think too much into things. This has given me a sense of calmness and peace. Some people would say that I have become a bank slate – a blank mind of unawareness. I’ve shut my mind from external factors that can cause emotional unbalance in myself.

Happiness belongs to the simpleton, the easy-going and the positive.

When Covid-19 happened, I started thinking again. Like something inside awakened. But this time, I have my son and maturity. So far, the two have kept me sane.

What keeps you sane?

French Women and Their Obsession with Bangs

Ah the French…There is much to be said about the French. Style seems to come easy for them and their lifestyle is much to be admired. There is a certain charm that is hard to emulate if you’ve not lived in France but the world still tries to.

I’ve never been to France but I am a big fan of a couple of French actresses and the charm they exude. The soft, lilting accent of the language caresses my senses and makes me wish I’d chosen to learn French at one point or another in my life.

French women are known for their effortless style and beauty. If you conjure up the images of all the french icons, you’ll notice that similar minimalist take on makeup, hair and fashion.

The words that come to mind when you think of a french woman are: Timeless. Elegance. Chic. Au natural.

There is something so classic about the style of a Parisian woman. She never tries too hard and yet still manages to look fabulous.

Being Asian, that is our beauty philosophy too – looking naturally beautiful. Less is more.

There are so many admirable traits of a French woman but what stood out for me is their hair style.

A woman’s hair style is so important. It can make or break the look you are trying to portray. A hairstyle can turn heads for the right reasons or the wrong ones. But hairstyles can be tricky because not all hairstyles suit all women.

The most beautiful French women in the world all have a similar hair style no matter how different their features or face shapes are.

Let’s have a look at some of my favorite French celebrities throughout the last few decades. You will realize that all of them have bangs!

Actress Sophie Marceau

Actress Sophie Marceau

Actress Isabelle Adjani

Actress Isabelle Adjani

Actress Brigitte Bardot

Actress Brigitte Bardot

Actress Jeanne Damas

Actress Jeanne Damas

Makeup Artist Violette

Makeup Artist Violette

Model Louise Follain

Model Louise Follain

The magic of having bangs is that it can make anyone look younger and more girlish. It has the ability to change your whole look.

Since there are so many different kinds of bangs, you can be sure to find one suited to your face shape and features.

My favorite is the curtain bangs which Brigitte Bardot made famous. Parted in the center and face framing, it is less maintenance as compared to a heavy, blunt fringe. If you decide to grow it out, it will also be less noticable.

My experience with bangs have been bittersweet. Over the years, I’ve experimented with many different types of bangs and now know which one is best suited for me. My experience has taught me that styling is very important and flat bangs can look horrible (especially from the side profile).

I still struggle with the round brush so I prefer to use a straightening iron instead to give my bangs more life. I’m a work in progress though and every morning, I yield different results – That is how tough it is to style a fringe on your own.

The great thing about having bangs is the fun of styling. The not so great thing about it is if you screw up the styling and have to do it all over again. In my case, when mornings are such an insane rush, I have no time to re do it no matter how horrible it looks.

Bangs are definitely not for the faint-hearted. If you are a wash and go kinda girl, bangs are not for you. There is always some form of styling that needs to be done before you leave the house to prevent your bangs from falling flat.

If you still want bangs but cannot endure styling them, cheat by considering getting side swept bangs which are longer in length instead.

The Echoes of the Past – Bukit Brown Cemetery

Block 1 of Bukit Brown Cemetery: Meeting point of Bukit Brown Cemetery tour led by Prof. Darren Koh

Disclaimer: This post is more about my experience of Bukit Brown than of the history of the place. If you are more keen on reading up about the inhabitants of Bukit Brown or the historical facts of the cemetery, there are website links of articles with such information at the end of this post.

The first time I set foot into Bukit Brown Cemetery was many years before the government decided to build a highway across it.

A friend and I decided to explore one fine day and I was so glad we did.

We discovered graves with pictures of people long before our time, from eras long past, an echo of Singapore’s past. Many tombstones were engulfed by nature, sometimes leaving only the top exposed.

I’ve always had an affinity with old, abandoned stuff haha… so the oldest cemetery in Singapore fascinated me to no end long before I ever visited it.

Block 1 of Bukit Brown Cemetery: How to distinguish between Hokkien and Teochew tombstones

Bukit Brown was also the only cemetery I ever visited at that point of time. Living in 21^st century Singapore where land is precious and scarce, we have columbariums instead. Cemeteries are a thing of the past and burial for the dead is not permitted anymore.

That first experience in Bukit Brown was so fascinating for me that I vowed to go back again in the near future but that day never came because my explorer buddy refused to return again no matter how much I begged. Life swept me along in its wake and I tucked Bukit Brown away in the corner of my mind until news about an expressway to be built across the cemetery brought it back to the forefront of my mind.

When I heard about the news back then, I was saddened. A historical part of Singapore was about to be lost and I could do nothing about it. No matter how many people signed the petition that was going around, the government always has the last say and I knew the outcome.

Gorgeous tiles common way back then. There is also a tour on tiles that can be found on a few graves across the cemetery.

Earth deity guarding the tomb.

The government always had a practice of demolishing Singapore’s historical architecture over the years without considering the value of these buildings. Also, other historical cemeteries across Singapore have been exhumed without a second thought to make way for housing estates (i.e. Bidadari). What was Bukit Brown to the government then?

The expressway was thus built to the horror and protestation of many like-minded people who believed that Singapore’s oldest cemetery should be preserved. Especially since, it was the resting place to so many of our pioneers and war heroes.

Prof. Darren Koh educating us on the inscriptions on this Hokkien tombstone

I believe that with every negative, there is a positive. This upset brought passionate individuals to come together and form tours organised to educate people about Bukit Brown Cemetery. More people started exploring the forgotten graves of people who once lived rich lives.

It was inspiring.

I set foot in Bukit Brown once more on 17 November 2019. This time, I went with a tour led by a volunteer Brownie (a name the volunteer tour guides call themselves)who shared stories of people long gone but should never be forgotten because of their contributions to Singapore’s glory and to fellow Singaporeans.

The trees here are so majestic and beautiful.

How old do you think this tree is? If trees could talk, imagine all the stories it could share of what its seen.

Treading through the paths of Bukit Brown was made more fascinating by Darren, our guide, because he brought the land of the dead to life with his stories. It was not only a history lesson for history buffs, it was story telling time. Who doesn’t love a good story of mystery and danger? There are plenty of such stories about the residents of Bukit Brown.

We trudged through the forest at one point to get to an interesting grave of a single Chinese mother with a Japanese translation of her name on her tombstone and heard stories of unsung war heroes. The stories breathed life into the long deceased and at the end of the tour, it was difficult not to feel a bittersweet sorrow for the lives of these people.

Some lived courageously when the time called for it yet there were also many others whose stories are lost to history.

Trudging through the forest to the curious grave of single mother of two, Dolly Tan. Her tombstone has inscriptions of her name in Japanese katakana and two Japanese gentlemen’s names can also be found inscribed. She passed away during the Japanese occupation.

One day, I will be forgotten too. I will not only cease to exist but will no longer matter to anyone. Life never felt more transient at that moment as I stood there among the graves.

Commanding tombstones with gold lettering stood hidden behind the shadows of trees. Some were broken and half hidden in the greenery that was slowly swallowing the tombstones whole. In a few years, with no one to tend to these graves, they will disappear into the foliage.

Most Singaporeans would never consider visiting Bukit Brown Cemetery. It’s either too hot and full of mosquitoes or just not worth the time to bother about. There are also the superstitious who believe we shouldn’t disturb the dead and provoke spirits.

But consider this, nothing is forever here in Singapore. One day, Bukit Brown will be redeveloped. A part of who we are as Singaporeans, a part of our history will be gone. Experience it before it is too late. Pass it down to the next generation. There is more to life than this rat race and everyday grind of our society. We need to start embracing and appreciating our history because our history is what led Singapore to where it is today.

Bukit Brown Cemetery happens to be a nice place to go for a jog.

For the rare few who are enthusiasts about Singapore’s history and would like to experience a slice of Singapore’s past, get yourself signed up for a Bukit Brown Cemetery tour. You won’t regret it. Oh, except for the mosquitoes, you might regret that if you don’t cover yourself with insect repellent and wear the right outfit.

The walk out from Bukit Brown Cemetery heading out to Kheam Hock Road

The iconic old gates of Bukit Brown Cemetery.

Fun Fact: Did you know that a battle was fought in Bukit Brown Cemetery during World War II?

Read more about Bukit Brown Cemetery / tours on these websites:

Battle at Bukit Brown – http://bukitbrown.com/main/?p=1606

Interview with Prof. Darren on Bukit Brown – http://bukitbrown.com/main/?p=9878

A blog post about Bukit Brown Cemetery & the author’s experience taking the guided tour – https://millennialsofsg.com/2018/09/22/walk-remember-visit-bukit-brown/

A blog post about Bukit Cemetery – https://sgmagazine.com/city-living-things-to-do/news/bukit-brown-cemetery-hungry-ghost-festival-self-guided-trail

Book a tour – https://peatix.com/user/617188?lang=en-sg

The Strength of A Woman – Kasturba Gandhi

She was the woman who weathered every storm with her famous husband but also the woman who dared to stand up to him. In a time and age when women were expected to be gentle, meek and unambitious creatures, she was brave, strong and ambitious.

Mahatma Gandhi is known throughout the world as God like and disciplined. His peaceful ways of resolving issues and successfully achieving India’s Independence from British rule through such means made him the Father Of The Nation.

There is much about Gandhi but not so much on his wife, Kasturba or affectionately known as Ba.

What we do know about her is her strength and her courage as she fought politically alongside her husband. She was jailed on many occasions and eventually passed on in a detention camp, with her head rested on the lap of her husband.

What drew me to her is her stubbornness and her refusal to be intimidated and controlled by Gandhi.

While most of India bowed at his feet and worshiped the ground he walked on, she was a dignified figure who chose to stand by her husband’s side and not behind him.

A woman’s place in a marriage should be by her husband’s side as his partner and that was what she was. It is a documented fact that Gandhi tried to keep her under this thumb but she would have none of that and fought with him if she felt strongly about something that was different from his view.

One should remember the time they lived in. Most women were housewives and had to respect their husband’s word as authority. She had backbone.

While her husband was a lawyer, Kasturba was uneducated and even had difficulties writing. That did not stop her from having a character or standing up to her husband when necessary.

As a figure of speech, she was his perfect partner in crime.

I cannot imagine how difficult it must be like living with a man like Gandhi. From articles I’ve read on him, he was a perfectionist and he was away from her a great deal. His vow of chastity later on in his life must have been difficult for her as well.

He was hard on her and their children. Often, his words could be cruel and sarcastic.

Unfortunately, she didn’t keep any written account on her thoughts so we will never know.

There have been articles written on Gandhi and his unusual sexual preferences even though he took a vow of chastity. One of which is of his female followers sleeping with him naked so that he could “test” his vow of chastity.

I won’t go into detail on this and the reason I brought this up is because, seriously, which woman can endure her husband sleeping naked with other women?! Irregardless of whether or not it was a “test”if he could curb his sexual desires (I can’t say I buy that but…for the benefit of doubt…), it must have been hard for a wife to suffer that.

I wonder how she felt about it.

In lots of other ways, she is still someone every woman should look up to.

Her life was one lived rich with purpose for a great cause and she did it with such grace. An extraordinary life of a remarkable woman.

Read:

https://yourstory.com/2015/10/kasturba-gandhi

https://www.indiatoday.in/india/story/mahatma-gandhi-jayanti-kasturba-gandhi-1353904-2018-10-02

https://www.financialexpress.com/india-news/the-secret-diary-of-kasturba-a-fictionalised-account-of-kasturbas-life-throws-light-on-a-personality-dwarfed-by-her-husband/457133/

https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/books/features/thrill-of-the-chaste-the-truth-about-gandhis-sex-life-1937411.html

https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/books/features/thrill-of-the-chaste-the-truth-about-gandhis-sex-life-1937411.html

Love The Things You Do & Do The Things You Love

It is hard.

It is hard to be able to love the work you do and be paid for it. I have loved writing from the moment I knew how to write. I loved creating stories and writing them down. It was my way of escaping the present and losing myself in fantasy. It was also a passion.

I am not a passionate person per say. I don’t feel strongly about most things and it is hard for me to feel anything because I am fluid like water or air. I tend to go with the flow with most things in life.

I don’t feel like I need to fight for something like some people do and there are few things which make me feel “like I am dying” if I don’t get it.

But when I do feel passionate about something, it overflows and overwhelms.

If I don’t attain it, I feel restless and just useless.

The feeling eventually goes away if I try the hardest and still don’t get it but it resurfaces through the years, reminding me of a dream I once had.

It is like this with my writing.

I wish I could write for a living. I wish I could churn our articles that people enjoy reading, that people would pay to read so that I can do this full time.

But writing can only be a hobby for me. It is one of those things I could never achieve no matter how hard I tried.

Recently, I saw a post of a friend’s. She never thought of writing for a living. She was a wandering soul who never knew what she wanted. She sort of just fell into it and made it her career. Wistfully, I wonder, when it will be my turn?

On a different note, I found a new love in art.

I’ve always enjoyed art very much. I drew, I painted (water colors) and Dante Gabriel Rossetti’s oil paintings captivate me to no end when I was younger. I’ve also written an article many years back for The Pocket Art’s Guide (a publication circulated in museums).

Art has always been a part of my life although God knows, I haven’t had the time for it.

Through a friend, I came to know about a Resin Art workshop and decided to bite the bullet. It was a great decision. I had so much fun and loved the whole process that I am going to sign up for another.

I didn’t have much time to think about what I wanted to achieve for the square coaster so I just did what I could. I really wanted to create sunset with marshmallow white clouds but I had no time!

The problem with resin is that your window of time is very little and the resin hardens as the minutes tick by so one has got to be fast.

I love what I did for the round coaster though. I envisioned the ocean and I think I did pretty alright. I just needed to use more white for the foaming waves though…

I guess life is such. At times we can’t achieve what we really yearn for but there are other aspects to draw happiness from. If we focus too much on what we cannot achieve or failed to have achieve, we would be depressed souls.

There is no point in that. There is just too much joy in life to be depressed all the time.

Sponsoring A Child Living In Poverty

Today I began my journey into sponsoring a child.

I’ve always donated to charitable organisations through the years. I commit to donate to one organisation per year and switch organisations every one to two years. There are just so many organisations that I would like to help but I don’t earn a lot and I have dependents thus, I tend to switch organisations.

As a working mother, I find myself strapped for time and volunteering is out of the question for now. So, the only way I know to help is to donate.

The last organisation I donated to was WWF (World Wide Fund for Nature). I love animals and nature. Being a part of a cause I believed in was wonderful and important because I knew that I was helping animals and conserving our natural environment in a small way. I donated to them for 2 years.

Through fate, I stumbled upon a Youtube video on the children living in the City of Angels, Philippines (Watch it here). My heart broke. The vicious cycle of poverty was forcing so many young, uneducated, teenage girls into prostitution or to look for a man (Sometimes much older or even abusive) to be dependent on. This, in turn is causing so many unplanned pregnancies, abandoned babies and single mother households.

I decided that I would like to do something for these children caught up in the vicious cycle of poverty and found an organisation called Compassion International.

One area of concern when donating to a charitable organisation is whether your money is put to good use. You need to know if the organisation of your choice is able to channel funds received from doners to the right people and what your funds are used for.

I chose Compassion International after reading countless of reviews online on their work and how my funds can be of use to the child I was sponsoring.

While doing my research, I came across articles deterring people from sponsoring children. One of the many reasons was that sponsored children could become dependent on help. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but the first thought that came into my head when I read that was “What if everybody who read that article agreed with that statement? What was going to happen to these children of poverty around the world?”

Every individual is different and your help could either be a beacon of hope which could lead to a child being led out of poverty or yes, it could turn out negative for the child. But I believe in the power of having hope and everyone should have hope as an encouragement to live the best life out of your circumstance.

Maybe I am an optimist. *shrugs*

I’m excited to be able to help my sponsored toddler. I deliberately chose a toddler because I want to be able to watch her grow. I want to be able to provide what I can and see that she is able to get an education. I want to fulfill her basic necessities. I want her to have hope in life, in Jesus.

I had a hard time choosing just one child to sponsor but focusing on one child would mean that she gets the best out of what I can provide. Maybe one day, I will be able to sponsor more children.

I will document my journey with Bella here. She was born just 5 days after Kerstan and I feel the inexplicable link between the two because Kerstan was actually supposed to have been due on Bella’s birthday or a day later. I was induced a few days earlier because Kerstan’s umbilical cord was around his neck and we wanted to minimise the risk of possible strangulation.

I hope that my small contribution can be multiplied and be of useful help to Bella and her family.

You can read articles on Child Sponsoring from these links below. I’ve included articles in favor and not in favor of Child Sponsoring because I believe that Child Sponsoring should be a long term commitment and it should be taken seriously before you decide if this is your calling.

Try not to give up halfway through sponsoring because the child you are sponsoring would be so hurt.

Child Sponsorship: Pros & Cons…: http://www.jmm.org.au/articles/33012.htm

Does Child Sponsorship Work: https://www.compassionuk.org/about-us/about-sponsorship/it-works/

3 Questions to Ask A Child Sponsorship Organisation Before Giving: https://www.compassionuk.org/about-us/about-sponsorship/it-works/

The Difference Between World Vision and Compassion International: https://shaungroves.com/2008/03/the-difference-between-world-vision-and-compassion-international/

Why Help People in Poverty in Other Countries when People Need Help Here: https://blog.compassion.com/why-help-people-in-poverty-in-other-countries-when-there-are-people-in-poverty-in-your-own/

Should I donate to World Vision: https://www.povertyinc.org/news/world-vision

What’s It Like To Be A Sponsored Child: https://www.bbc.com/news/world-13697855

Reasons To Avoid Individual Child Sponsorship: https://www.humanium.org/en/child-sponsorship/avoid-individual-child-sponsorships/

Lastly, if you do click on one of these articles, you should read the comments from other readers too. This will give you an insight to current sponsors or past sponsors on their experiences.

Silence is Far From Golden

You learn a great deal of things at church if you actually listen to what the priest or pastor is preaching.

Every time I attend Mass or Service or any event for that matter, I make it a point to pay attention to the message of what the speaker is trying to convey. Don’t waste your time by daydreaming if you chose to attend something. Listen, watch, pay attention. You might learn something.

The Father was preaching about husband and wife and how two becomes one in a marriage. Decisions are made together and not as individuals. Communication is paramount to the success of any relationship.

I walked away from Mass last evening reflecting on my own relationship. Was I communicating enough?

No matter how negative a conversation can get, if truthful communication channels are open between a couple, that bond is cemented. Silence is not always golden. It can break and do irreparable damage.

 

Things Change Thoughts Change

Rewind to a year and a half ago, I never in a million years would have thought that I could sacrifice so much more for another human being. Who would have thought that I would be willing to sacrifice my precious sleep, my chillout sessions on weekday nights or my me time.

Back then, there was no way I could have even dreamed of taking care of another human being. And then, it just happened.

I knew I wanted a baby with my love and he was ready too. It was a long time coming. So when Baby K decided to form in my womb, we were both ecstatic beyond words!

God listened and He decided to deliver.

Baby K was my precious miracle from the moment he made himself known to us as a 6 weeks’ seedling. I fumbled with the pregnancy test kit with one hand as I read the instructions with the other. I never had to use one before.

When I saw the blue cross, my heart lurched. Was it positive? Could it be? Perhaps it is a mistake? How can something finally fall into place after so long?

I hurried back to my gynae who had sent me to the washroom with the pregnancy kit, stunned.

I still remember my gynae’s words. She said, “All the signs were there, how could you not know?! Congratulations!”

How would I have known? I’d never gotten pregnant before. Besides, I had bled a couple of times and thought it was my monthly. I would continue to bleed quite a few times throughout my disastrous first trimester.

The beginning of my pregnancy was nothing short of a miracle. I bled so many times and had to have so many checkups with my gynae to check if Baby K was alright. As each day passed and the days turned to months, I sailed out of the sickness and danger of my first trimester.

Now, looking at the smiling face of my precious son, I am humbled. Humbled at the tenacity of Life.

He is my raison detre. I’ve finally found my meaning in life. This, which has been elusive for so long. This, which I searched for years, leaving me bitter and disheartened because I couldn’t find what the reason for my existance was.

I thought my purpose in life was to help others full time or to find success in other career choices but I knew right away that first moment I laid eyes on Baby K what my purpose is.

It is funny but I feel that every experience I had to go through in life was leading me to this – being a mother.

Now my life has become so colorful. God gave me a reboot in the form of a beautiful baby boy.

Things have changed so much for me. My thoughts have changed so much too. There is a peace within me that I never had before. The turmoil, the angst, the restlessness and disquiet that rested within me has dissipated.

Everyday I think of what I want to teach Baby K, what I would like for him to experience. It is so important to me the values that I want to instill in him, the qualities that I feel he will need to not only survive but to thrive in this World. To be a good but witty human being.

His smile lights up my whole being and my goal everyday is to go home right after work so that I can see him smile, cry and just to be there with him.

Sigh.

I’ve never been so in love with someone.

I marvel how I can survive on so little sleep everyday. I wonder how I find the energy to pull through every single day because there is no rest being a mother and a wife.

One thing I finally understand is how so many women can do this and why.

It’s love.

As conny as this may sound. It’s love that keeps us going. Love that gives unconditionally even though sometimes, we get so tired. We are a bottomless well of love and we just have to shower this love on our husbands and babies.

Baby K recharges me everytime he reaches out to me or wants me. As he grows older, he shows his affection more towards me and that is enough. I can’t wait for the day he kisses me on the cheek sponteneously or gives me a great big hug when I come home from work.

Motherhood is so beautiful. Who would have thought?

Before I became a mother, hearing this from someone else would never have the power to move my heart or thoughts. I couldn’t imagine it. Now I know.